Have you ever wondered why you even need to change or redefine what you consider to be “beautiful”?
I recently went away for my holidays to Mexico and decided to get my hair braided into “corn rows” or “dreads” because of the extreme heat and humidity as I was unable to manage my curly and unruly hair. It was also a hairstyle that I’ve always wanted to try for some reason, although now that I’ve done it, it has raised some social and cultural questions for me.
Until recently, I have always been a woman who has depended on my hair to help me to feel and look “beautiful.” And I suppose that most cultures do in some shape or form look at a woman’s hair or hairstyle to define her beauty. While Americans glorify long waves of blond hair, for example, devout Muslim women cover their hair for modesty’s sake.
While growing up, at times I also struggled with conflicting cultural definitions of what beauty meant in relation to not only my hair, but also my body and skin tone. But as I grew older, I came to be quite comfortable with my own version of “beautiful.” However, I never expected that simply changing my Europeanized hairstyle to an African hairstyle would launch me on an unexpected journey of growth and development, expanding my own cultural comfort zones.
Hairy reactions
It began with the mixed reactions I received from my family, friends, colleagues, professionals and strangers. This small and unintentional experiment has been eye-opening for me as I experienced a very negative reception from some of my family and others from within my South Asian community.
And while travelling on public transit, grocery shopping, going out into the community, attending business meetings and appointments, I received a mixed bag of negative, positive and in-between responses. Most interesting of all was that people from the Caucasian or Anglo-European cultures were the most positive people who generally smiled, commented or asked me a friendly question about my new “hairstyle.”
I did not choose this hairstyle for attention or to make a cultural statement, but the lack of acceptance I received overall for trying this hairstyle from a culture other than my own was interestingly disappointing. And, understandably, this experience has raised a few questions in my mind. For example, as Canadians, what do we define as “beautiful”? And have we as Canadians fully reached the status of being a nation of people who embrace other minority cultures? You may think that I am being too sensitive and over-generalizing, but for me this small “experiment” allowed me to examine whether people’s definitions of beauty have broader implications on accepting other cultures overall.
What do you think is beautiful?
Do you use your cultural heritage to help you define beauty? Or do you now use a “Europeanized” or “Americanized” version of beauty? Some of you may be in transition and may actually use both your previous culture together with other definitions of what beauty means to you. All versions are acceptable in my opinion, as long as we are proactive in understanding the foundations of these definitions.
Have you ever wondered why you even need to change or redefine what you consider to be “beautiful”? Some will argue that by moving to another country it is necessary to change your previous definition and others will debate with you that there is no need to change how you define “beauty.” After all, whose standards and definitions are we really considering?
In ending this conversational piece, I hope to raise some questions in your mind about what definitions you use to base various culturally specific phenomena such as beauty. And, as you go about your day, please casually think about whether your thoughts and actions help to embrace or hinder other cultural versions of “beautiful.”
Beauty is what beauty does. And the perceptions of others reflects what they think is beautiful. Sounds simple, but sometimes a cultural group, whether people in it believe it or just give it the advised lip service, are narrow in their belief of what is considered acceptable.
Yeah, stating that simple truth is enough to create havoc in my life. Truth has always been something people liked to be attached to because it sounds good. It sounds pure. The truth is that the truth is a messy thing to people who insist that life should be as their cultural group has subscribed to and prescribed to us for centuries. And the truth is that truth isn’t about conformity, unless you like conformity in your life.
To me, life is about responding to it in my own way. I have always found subscribing to a set way of thinking and living to be too difficult for my curious and passionate mind.
I remember discovering that the best haircut for me in my 20’s was a very short Halle Barrie look. Yep, it was for me. But my family was very negative about it. I put up with it because I just cant lie to myself. I really liked my hair that short! Lately I’ve grown my hair longer. And you know why? Because I chose to do so.
So, the truth has it’s cost. What can you do? Enlightenment on who we are and what we prefer is a tough thing to stand up for, hanna? I can grow my hair long, braid it, wear a chunni and not raise my eyes from the ground and be ‘accepted’ but inside I would want to be be wearing denim and sporting my current favourite do. Life is too short and you can’t please everyone.
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